On Religion

Mood: nothing much
Now Playing: stand by me, the brilliant green

*longoverduepost*
So mom woke me up today and asked me to hear mass at an SM. Half asleep, i tried to prod my brain awake to process what she was saying. Mass? At some mall? asjdhasjdasdjaskld. Don't get me wrong, im not one of thos conservatives or orthodox church-goer or whatever it is they call that nowadays that adhere to their religion rigidly. Truth be told, im more of the liberal kind of church guy - someone who believes in the whole Faith, not in the system. Call it liberal. Call it unorthodox. I basically don't care.

Aaaanyway, so aun. We were there at 9 in the morning, and i was against the whole idea, liberal as i was. I mean, hearing mass in a mall? That's like eating crucifx-shaped chocolates in the Sistine Chapel. Let's give the guy upstairs some credit, eh, and put Him in a place where he belonged - a solid, honest to goodness church.

But to my amazement, it turns out i was wrong about the whole thing and may have to revamp my religious thinkings. The priest was animated in his discussion, and lo and behold - the 2nd reading was one of my most favorite lines ever. It's 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, which is

If I speak in the tongues of men and angels,
but have not love,
I have become sounding brass or a tinkling symbol.
And if I have prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains,
but have not love, I am nothing.
And if I dole out all my goods, and if I deliver my body that I may boast
but have not love, nothing I am profited.
Love is long suffering, love is kind, it is not jealous,
love does not boast, it is not inflated. It is not discourteous, it is not selfish,
it is not irritable, it does not enumerate the evil.
It does not rejoice over the wrong, but rejoices in the truth
It covers all things, it has faith for all things,
it hopes in all things,it endures in all things.
Love never falls in ruins; but whether prophecies, they will be abolished; or
tongues, they will cease; or knowledge, it will be superseded.

For we know in part and we prophecy in part.
But when the perfect comes, the imperfect will be superseded.
When I was an infant, I spoke as an infant,
I reckoned as an infant;when I became [an adult],
I abolished the things of the infant.
For now we see through a mirror in an enigma,
but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then
I shall know as also I was fully known.

But now remains faith, hope, love,
these three; but the greatest of these is love.

mygahd. It's amazing really. The priest was talking about how to hear the Word, and aklsjdlaks, he was right. He said that every minute of our lives, Someone speaks to us. All we have to do is listen hard enough, to sense hard enough.

He had a point, gais, and he defended it. He believed in it. He talked about how He talks to us in every minute of our lives, and all we have to do is to listen to it. We have a choice. We can either hear it or just bam, walk away from it.

aside story: I was constantly reminded of that book by Coelho, The Alchemist. In it, Santiago was given two stones - Urin and Thummim that would basically guide him in making decisions, as it speaks the languange of the world. Sa isip isip ko, baka lahat ng tao kelangan ng ganun sa pang araw-araw na pamumuhay. Then i realized the fallacy of my thoughts: we don't need two stones to guide us. We don't really need to stick to the basic rules of religion. What we really need is an open ear and a mind that accepts the things that we hear.

But what struck me more inside was the manner by which the priest connected to the people. I mean, it transcended the simple roles of sermoner and sermonee, it did. It felt like - if only for a minute or two - that we were in the presence of something remarkable and surreal, and it seemed to me that if i move even a muscle, i would lose the magic and would have to start again from scratch.

I'm in danger of ranting on and on in the wrong way here, so let me give it to you straight. I guess what i'm trying to say is that the place doesn't matter. There are lots of questions, but the most important ones aren't When or What or Who, but the How and the Why. It doesn't matter if you hear mass in some forsaken town in the middle of anywhere, or in with front row tickets at the sistine chapel. What matters is when after leaving the building, you take something along with you, and whether you use it or not. That's what i think.

Taking The Red Pill

Mood: nothing much
Now Playing: Yellowcard's cover of Breathing

I'm writing this at the UST humanities section of the lib, a few hours after everyone's gone home. The weird thing about this is that it's a Saturday and yes, like most students, i'm not even supposed to be in the university today. Yet here i am, looking like a complete jerk with my hoodie on and my earphones plugged in and my smile plasterd on my face as the one sitting next to me is reading a manga i think i recognize. And just in case you lean over and read this, know that i frequent that manga site too, as the other site is blocked by UST's stringent anti-virus measures.

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Missed the 1st half of my chemistry lab quiz the other day, and it's so depressing i wish i can just die. Yes, can. Normally i wouldn't have felt bad about this, but the thing is, i just spent a morning reading up some hydrocarbons on the internet and actually acting like what a normal student should act like. What makes it worse is that i feel like i screwed up the 2nd half too, as i was just too pissed to think clearly - why do i get pissed at the mose inoppurtune times, i wonder - that i completely forgot what i jammed in my reviewer earlier that morning. And to think that when i finally try and get some work done, i get shot down and have to start again from scratch. And it hurts even more because the reasons why i arrived late are completely illogical and completely pathetic it's practically a classic.

But just like what my friend always says, all's well that ends well. Although arguably that phrase actually applies to her only - she's like this weird ball of positive energy, you see - i feel like i should believe in that, too.

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Took the LTS test today, and it was a breeze. LOL. Not that i actually found the test to be THAT easy, but mostly because i practically don't have any standard to live up to, so it's easy not to get too disappointed, but anyway...

Saw someone for the 1st time today, too, and it was great~ Minus the fact that i was completely jealous of her PE - which, by the way is CHEERING. Damn, why don't they have this in UST gaah - and her extensive Pike collection. And if you're reading this, thanks by the way for the kind words and the book you lent me. xD

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I should get going soon. But before i do, i'm stopping at some convenience store to buy some Soya milk so i can stay up late studying. I'm sorry, I lied, even I have some standard to live up to, and i guess falling short of it again is not an option. Like i've said, one of my resolutions is to try and run forward to the finish line, and to do that i have to be someone first.

PS.
I realize my hands have been flying throughout the keyboard for a full thirty minutes already, and i'm worried im making too much noise in a library. But then again, it's not like there's a whole bunch of people here - the humanities section is one of the less-visited places in the library, and i cannot fathom why.

PPS.
I hate everything. But it's actually just a lie. I happen to like most people, it's just too freaky to trust in something that concrete and separate away from you, you know?

Starting 2010 pt2

Mood: fine
Now Playing: NGS, Asian Kung Fu Generation

aand, lastly...

I SHOULD HAVE TOLD (insert name) IN 2009 THAT..

1. Maybe someday i'll tell you a lot of things, and that would explain why im just tripping around all the time. And also, i wish you'd do something about yourself; you just keep getting more amazing everyday.
2. I get tired of your rants sometimes, but then you do something completely amazing and true i just can't help but admire at how resilient you are. And i mean this in a good way.
3. Look, im sorry if can't be the one you wanted to be. But this is me, and i'd like you to know that half of what's written on my walls is all about how you controlled my freaking life. And take care all the time, by the way.
4. Sometimes i'd like to ask you sir, if you have any idea how much that damn play was worth? The answer: priceless.
5. You sell like hotcakes, and i wanted to buy some a long time ago, but then i noticed how different the inside tastes from the outside. You're still cool, though.
6. I know you have some issues, man, and i wish i could do something about it. I really really wish i could.
7. We can be friends, if only you could stop being a jerk.
8. It's been great knowing that no matter how far you are, you're still at home with your home tongue. And i wish i could say that you look better (which, by the way is true), but i kind of like the old quiet version better.
9. You're amazing - a true artist indeed. I saw you a few weeks back, and wow. You look like you're doing great, which i hope you really are.
10.Cheers, dude. You're like someone who could fend for himself, and that's cool. No, srsly, it's been amazing know how convoluted your mind works, and i mean that in a good way.
11. Im really really sorry you arrived late at your enrolment. Whenever i think about it, it gives me the chills. Seriously.
12. Goodluck, dude, for a lot of reasons. Patience is a virtue, and i hope that whatever you're waiting for is worth the wait.
13. It looks like people are giving you more and more responsibility, dude. I pray that you'll be able to get thro ugh them. If not, then we're here as your backup.
14. You're the weirdest person i've ever met, and also one of the coolest. It makes for an awesome combo! Three cheers, my friend.
15. Hang in there. We're all here with you.
16. I get the feeling that you're just pretending to be this bigshot person, getting to know this, getting to know that. I just want you to know that you don't have to do that; we like you for you, not how connected you are.
17. I wish we could hang out more. I miss the days when we cut class and sneak on the roof and watch as the world crawl like insects.
18. We sure do dream big, do we? That's what i like most about you - you're a freaking visionary, and i like that. Sorry im out of touch most of the time, srsly. And goodluck with your issues, mehn. :)
19. You don't know how to teach. That is a certainty.
20. Maybe someday you'd surprise us all by suddenly getting in sync again. I'd like that. I mean, you're starting to show more life now, and it's a good thing, congrats.
21. We've only known each other for a while ( i mean really know ) and i've seen something great and cool already. Cheers.
22. It looks like everybody looks up to you, and you don't even know it. You probably wouldn't even know that this is about you - that's how oblivious you are to praise. And i sort of like that about you, you know. Yeah.
23. Im really really sorry. For a lot of things i should have done. And, aun. Im still hoping for a next time?
24. Everybody just gravitates toward you, it's freaking amazing.
25. You're like the Pinoy version of Luna Lovegood, the likelikness is very uncanny. I sort of like that about you, and i think it'd be great if you sort of livened up a bit. Just don't liven up too much though. I kind of like the way you are right now, too.

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THE YEAR IN BLOGPOSTS

JANUARY - How I Spent My Week parts 1 and 2
FEBRUARY - Spending February, parts 1 and 2
MARCH -Dreaming is so cool
APRIL -Screw You and Being Wet
MAY -Damn it Scrubs and A Lot of Things and Nothings.
JUNE - Lokohan
JULY - I Think You Should Read This and Venting
AUGUST - My Thoughts In About a Thousand Characters
SEPTEMBER - Losing My Mojo and Some Shit That Just Needed Shitting
OCTOBER - no posts. kalain mu un.
NOVEMBER - Hantungan
DECEMBER - In Shining Armor and All For a Saturday

Yep. I guess that's it for a year starter post.
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Resolutions?
I think i only have one or two. The first one is to run forward and race towards the finish line. The other? Im sort of keeping it to myself. For now. :)

continued from part 1