Visiting.

Mood: sleepy
Currently listening to: the wordless, cinematic sunrise.

my tropa has this special tradition. we visit the manila memorial park at night and have fun. come to think of it, it's a bit old; i think this tradition dates back until junior year. it's great to observe this kind of things, i guess. it makes me believe there are some things that are worth fighting the good fight for.

i think there's something really.. ethereal about halloween. for one thing, it makes people look good in the dark. for another, it's an excuse for adults to act like kids.

nah. disregard what i said. it's just words gone bad.

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i want to believe in ghosts - in ghosts like Casper. think of it - there is a place to look forward to after death. before heaven, that is. (or hell, for that matter)

papa once told me scary stories. remember the old television show oka tokat? dad would always tell me spooky staries after. i remember his story about the rain monsters (ang mga halimaw sa ulan). according to him, it was a rainy night at his province. feeling the urge to use the bathroom, he stepped out of the room and went for the plants' shed. he didn't want to wake up anybody by going to the bathroom, y'see. and besides, the plants shed was closer.

so aun. after stepping out into the night, he began to answer the call of nature. that was when he noticed the eyes. the gleaming and golden eyes that were neither feline nor canine, much less human that surrounded the little plant shed. terrified, he ran straight back into the house, the sound of the rain pounding a hard chant in his ears.

he also told me of the time he got lost in the mountains. it was not raining then , thankfully. after much wandering about, he finally found the mountain path. breathing a sigh, he started out on it.

then he heard a noise coming from away the path. a steady "tick-tick-tick" from above the trees. his heart went straight up to his mouth. keeping his eyes fixed straight on the road, he continued walking. lola told him this once. "never look at the source of the sound. the tikbalang will get you then."

then the sound grew louder and louder. the "tick-tick-tick" seemed like a storm. it was evident that there was more than one tikbalang from the trees.

finally, the storm of sounds eneded. he had reached home.

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thos stories stuck. even now, i do not look sideways whenever i hear any strange sound at night. the problem is, i hear some strange noises when i'm in bed. i imagine stuff coming out from the closet or the windows. coming from the windows is doubly scary; my window has iron bars and thick, bulletproof glass. for something to come out of that is... definitely not human.

or maybe i'm imagining things. imagination is a tool that can kill.

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i'm still waiting for my mom to come home and give us food. after that i'll be going.

this may sound macabre, but if, for some strange reason that i do no come back from visiting the manila memorial late at night, you know what happened. :|

Not Your Bended Knees.

Mood: hmm.
Currently listening to: 1 2 3 4 , plain white t's.

this will be very very quick and very very short, since the words i want to express can be summed up in a song by audioslave, which links.. err. katamad. haha. here's the lyrics. :) maybe it speaks of your self too. maybe it doesn't. but when it does, i think you'll agree with me when i say how dreadful the feeling is.

Pearls and swine bereft of me
Long and weary my road has been
I was lost in the cities
Alone in the hills
No sorrow or pity for leaving I feel

(chorus)
I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky

Friends and liars don\'t wait for me
I\'ll get on all by myself
I put millions of miles
Under my heels
And still too close to you
I feel

(chorus)
I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon
I am the night

i am not your rolling wheels
i am the highway
i am not your carpet ride
i am the sky
i am not your blowing wind
i am the lightning
i am not your autumn moon
i am the night

and.. that's it. will be going off to sleep now. today's been a very tiring day.

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because i took care of the pre enrollment procedures for irregular students. LOL. if the people i was around today is any indication, i guess being an irregularity isn't so bad after all.

maybe i'll blog about it tomorrow.

(*thinks*)

lol. maybe.

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and yeah. i share my plurk - which can be found here.

I've Said This Before.

Mood: peacee
Currently listening to: vince the lovable stoner, the fratenellis.

ye. pretty much just woke up after a sleepover from 5 pm, wednesday, to 3:30 pm, thursday. bumming around, we brought a effing huge vanilla ice cream. i guess the alcohol was forgotten for a moment. i therefore conclude that ice cream is the fastest remedy for a soul break. ROFL. soul break.

then someone said that he was hungry. haha :D

there's something very intimate when people cook food. at a little past 10, we fixed up bacon and eggs, canned pork and beans and sausages. hands drifted here and there, the dim sepia light illuminating the counter as the smell of pork burning in it's own fat and the sight of eggs in the frying pan spreading in the frying pan.

we watched a few movies. but a little after 4, drifted off to sleep in the middle of watching.. err. what was it again? rofl.

Ayuun. Just Like Heaven. argh. tae. mukha pa namang maganda. argh. haha

i think i'm starting to like magic the gathering again. but when i look at the price tags of each of the cards, my wallet sings a silent protest. to illustrate, there's this card, topping at a whopping thousands mark. ohfcukingnoes.

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there are a lot of things i don't know about the world. there a lot of things i'm sure of. And in between those two things, i can finally say that the healing, if somewhat crude and old, could finally begin.

hey wait. i feel like i've said this before.

GREAT. :|

Normality.

Mood: trying to be happy.
Currently listening to: sugarfree, prom

yaaay. today was like highschool, by the fact that i rode the route to school again; but this time, to pay the bills at an establishment not far from my highschool, not to go to school itself. By the way, i managed to drag arvin, since he's paying his cable fees too.

so after doing the stuff needed we rode to the nearest mall - sm jologs. Funny how much sm redefined paglalakwatsa. To quote jessica zafra, i do not recall my life before SM.

We ran into gabro there. He's studying at PATTS, by the way. it's that pretty big aeronautical(err...?) college in paranaque. he says it's like SAS; uber daming ex SAS students dun.

we ate at karate kid. the only thing worth mentioning is that it's chicken kickers kicks ass. =))

then the two of us - arvin and i - bummed around the house. gabro had to wait for his mom. xP

it has been a normal day, and i feel so peaceful.

will be blogging later. xP

Wasting all the Time

Mood: pressed
Currently listening to: coldplay, clocks.

i am reminded of a shirt i saw in artwork once. it simply said

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

i'm off.

Across the Universe (and beyond)

Mood: peaceful.
Currently listening to: getaway car, audioslave.

sem break is finally here. yay. i've found a way to spend it to; our editor gave us a lot of articles to finish, and i can't say i'm not happy about finding a way to spend my free days. so if you're reading this, thanks, ate jill. :D

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i've finally cleaned my room(specifically, my closet), and i felt like i was wading in deep jumanji jungles. i mean, even i was amazed at how much clutter i've accumulated through the years. there were boxes of pictures, merits, certificates, used shirts, notebooks and other gadgets that i stuffed inside.

i guess one of the better finds was a simple orange filler notebook dating back from my junior year. it was filled with quotes from bands and ordinary people; y'know. simple corny stuff that i always find myself keeping. the stuff that matters.

there's this little space at the end of the said notebook. it simply said

there's a sad song inside
all of us.
-10th of february, 2007.

i was racking my brains since yesterday to find out what the hell happened on that day. i just don't write sad quotes for the heck of it. there's gotta be a something.

and now, this 12 of october, just a few hours ago, i've finally remembered.

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dad is playing the beatles upstairs.

i find myself singing along.

A Planet Wasted

Mood: surprised.
Currently listening to: white houses, vanessa carlton.

a very great kid just labeled his blog with the words "dead".

and i'm tempted, and at the same time, scared to follow. there's a lot of drama in my life right now - maybe it'll end, maybe it won't. its an undecided bitch.

but at the end of the day, when i ask myself what i've done, i'm left speechless. it's a devastating feeling. it feels like you're this huge lump of clay that has no other added meaning. it sucks. there's not even a flicker of peace or soul, or romance, or passion, the very things that i promised myself to believe in. the very things that we're supposed to have to save the our world - figuratively and literally.

is this what they call a natural decay? or are we all just wasting away on something so versed we have named life?

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ang sarap sayangin ang oras, lalo na kung nasayang naman talaga ito sa isang tao sa simula pa lamang.

Whoaaaaaaaa

Mood: like, whoa.
Currently listening to: none.

it's 1:25, and i have to fix up at 4 to get to school on time.
today's the finals, and oooh, boy. nothing's entering the nutshell.

All of A Sudden, I Miss Everyone

Mood: blank. for the nth time.
Currently listening to: where does the good go, tegan and sara

crap. i've been thinking a lot of stuff lately. ayun like the math issue. if worst comes to worst, i'll be an irregular. maybe that's the reason why i'm burning all of my eyebrows studying. to be honest, i'm kinda sure that i'll fail a subject. i mean, i kind of did a quick recon/survey, and i think that more than half of the class would fail. i dunno. i sincerely hope not.

whatever. if i go down, i guess i'd go down fighting.

owyeah. i sound so noble, don't i? lol.

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on the upside, i finally got a laptop. it's an hp pavilion 7800(?), and it's looking cool as ever. and oh - sis finally graduated, and im happy for her. (if you're reading this, you'd better treat me to a sakae sushi buffet for praising yer ass.)

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i am once again amazed at how stupid and pretentious people can be. if you think about it, there are a lot of things people could use their brain cells for. so why waste it on things that are full of uncertainty? what the hell.

anyway, maybe it's just me, but i think the whole world is changing. we're more emotional than ever. maybe in the future, they're gonna call this the industrially emotional age or the faux renaissance age.

i am reminded of a sentence shanus once said. " takte pati ang dota mahirap na. wala ng madali sa mundoo!"

waw. hindi ko na rin maalala ung exact words. haha. wala ng madali ngayon. basta prang ganyan. rofl.

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gtg. neuroanatomy and math calls.