Taking The Red Pill

Mood: nothing much
Now Playing: Yellowcard's cover of Breathing

I'm writing this at the UST humanities section of the lib, a few hours after everyone's gone home. The weird thing about this is that it's a Saturday and yes, like most students, i'm not even supposed to be in the university today. Yet here i am, looking like a complete jerk with my hoodie on and my earphones plugged in and my smile plasterd on my face as the one sitting next to me is reading a manga i think i recognize. And just in case you lean over and read this, know that i frequent that manga site too, as the other site is blocked by UST's stringent anti-virus measures.

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Missed the 1st half of my chemistry lab quiz the other day, and it's so depressing i wish i can just die. Yes, can. Normally i wouldn't have felt bad about this, but the thing is, i just spent a morning reading up some hydrocarbons on the internet and actually acting like what a normal student should act like. What makes it worse is that i feel like i screwed up the 2nd half too, as i was just too pissed to think clearly - why do i get pissed at the mose inoppurtune times, i wonder - that i completely forgot what i jammed in my reviewer earlier that morning. And to think that when i finally try and get some work done, i get shot down and have to start again from scratch. And it hurts even more because the reasons why i arrived late are completely illogical and completely pathetic it's practically a classic.

But just like what my friend always says, all's well that ends well. Although arguably that phrase actually applies to her only - she's like this weird ball of positive energy, you see - i feel like i should believe in that, too.

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Took the LTS test today, and it was a breeze. LOL. Not that i actually found the test to be THAT easy, but mostly because i practically don't have any standard to live up to, so it's easy not to get too disappointed, but anyway...

Saw someone for the 1st time today, too, and it was great~ Minus the fact that i was completely jealous of her PE - which, by the way is CHEERING. Damn, why don't they have this in UST gaah - and her extensive Pike collection. And if you're reading this, thanks by the way for the kind words and the book you lent me. xD

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I should get going soon. But before i do, i'm stopping at some convenience store to buy some Soya milk so i can stay up late studying. I'm sorry, I lied, even I have some standard to live up to, and i guess falling short of it again is not an option. Like i've said, one of my resolutions is to try and run forward to the finish line, and to do that i have to be someone first.

PS.
I realize my hands have been flying throughout the keyboard for a full thirty minutes already, and i'm worried im making too much noise in a library. But then again, it's not like there's a whole bunch of people here - the humanities section is one of the less-visited places in the library, and i cannot fathom why.

PPS.
I hate everything. But it's actually just a lie. I happen to like most people, it's just too freaky to trust in something that concrete and separate away from you, you know?