Before

Mood: nervous.
Now Playing: none.

Today i will go off to ust and get my clearance; to see the form all of my sins have taken. I've said all of the above text before, as well as the words "from the ashes of my downfall will rise the empire of my success"

Yeah. I've said all of these before.

Argh

Mood: okay.
Now Playing: Friday im in love, The Cure.

I have finally acquired an ipod. It's colored orange, has an 8 gig capacity(now down to only one gig and i haven't finished transferring all my playlists yet but anyway), and is named Elizabeth the iPod.

Normally, i should have been blown out of my fucking mind, but i just can't get myself to get all excited unless i see April 1st pass over me. I just hate feeling guilty and all that shit.

For those who know and are feeling nervous, don't worry mehn. You're freaking not alone; i'm practically eating my nails here. For those who know and are not feeling any nervousness at all, here's some cyber applause for you. *applause* For those who do not know at all, count yerself lucky.

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Internet is incredibly slow today. Er. Slower than usual, anyway. Even if i pause all of the fucking torrents that have remained in the backlogged section of my mind and computer, it is still so incredibly slooow. I blame no one but this fucking summer heat.

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I think i've read in a past reader's digest that when women talk, they do it mainly to clear their heads. However, when men talk, they do mainly to exchange information.

Why am i mentioning this?

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April Fool's. The day i will see the shape of my sins.

I'm guessing it will be so fucking large.

Fuck.

Dreaming is so cool

Mood: hopeful
Now Playing: none

So last night i dreamed about stuff again. The details are sort of hazy, but anyway.

No 1.

I was adopting a baby kid. I was in some kind of room, and there were babies in the play den, each doing their own stuff. Said babies were about a year old. And then i stepped forward and called out a name; Stephen.

Only one head turned. He was a small thing, with wisps of black hair blown down his head. Sort of swept back. I think he was wearing a green jumper over a white shirt, but im not so sure now. I remember saying to the attendant that suddenly materialized beside me that i had chosen this child because he alone responded to my call. That sort of shit.

When i left the room, i came face to face with the corridor of our house; it turns out that the room i was previously in(the room with the babies and the attendant) was actually my room. We were right smack bang outside the doorstep of my room.

Then there came a small sound beneath me. I was holding baby Stephen's hand. I scooped him up in my arms and walked...

As to where, i have no idea.

And then my dream ended. Or rather, this part of the dream ended, and another part graciously swept back.

No. 2.

I was in the same room again, with all the babies playing in the den. But this time, when i stepped forward and called out a name, it wasn't Stephen. It was another name. It was a girl's name. As to what name, exactly, i have no recollection now.

Anyway, i called out a name, and, like before, only one answered. Clad in a green jumper and white shirt, she gazed at me quite bashfully.

She was... beautiful. She had long, soft hair, eyes unlike a Filipino's, and the most bashful gaze a one year old can ever do. I remember scooping her up from the den and exiting the room.

Upon exiting, we found ourselves right outside my room's doorstep, again. But this time, i remember sitting down in a rattan armchair, the light of an early morning seeping in through two windows behind the armchair.

And then it ends there.

No 3.

This part is probably the most hazy shit of them all. I was in some sort of organization with a penchant for big ass guns. And then, i remember i was in some sort of a dilemma. One of my son/daughter was kidnapped, and i was going to storm through the kidnapper's hideout.

What then followed was a lot of gunfights and gore. As to whether i was successful in rescuing my kid, i have no idea.

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What are the odds of me dreaming the same dream tonight?

Last Night

Mood: shitty
Now Playing: ichirin no hana. forgot the artist,.

So i was organizing my cd puddings. AGAIN. im OC that way; i like to see things in order as much as i like disordering them. I've used up 8 cd puddings, each with a cd capacity of 10, and big one, with a 30-cd capacity. Doing the math, i have 110 cds. If each cd is worth, let's say, 40 pesos, i have 4400 worth of dvds in my possession.


How... hardcore.

This shit here(<-----) is my room (please don't mind the fucking clutter) as i was organizing the said cds. It's actually funny how it started; i was in bed, and it was already a little bit after 10. Then i suddenly wanted to watch higurashi, that cute gory anime show with the loli mascots. One thing led to another, and by the time i realized what i was doing, i was already organizing my puddings. Yeah. Most of the cds are stacked, so it doesn't really show, but fuck mehn. And oh, the carpet is new. It's really comfy, i swear i'm gonna sleep there soon. My aunt says that it's a damn blanket, but i say otherwise. And oh. Last night, nichola posted this EPIC LINK on plurk(join,damnit). Therefore, click the fucking link, little grasshopper, and prepare yerself for the lolz.

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I got tired of leechin the fucking granado espada game, so if anyone has an installer or any shit of that sort, lend it to me and i will love you forever.

Grades are worth shit

Mood: shitty
Now Playing: kids, mgmt.

So i received word that teh grades are posted in front of the main bldg, so i checked out the online grade system.

FUCK.

It hasn't been updated. Yet. 1st semester's grades are still in there. Wait, let me f5 again.

Sigh, yep. It's still there. Sigh.

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so here's two awesome covers of kids. this one by the kooks and this one by kxy, a singaporean artist.

Feels good, man.

Summer, Yo.

Mood: yeah
Now Playing: it's not the fall that hurts, the caesars

Everyday it's the same old damn cycle. I wake up and i tell myself that I! Must! Wake! Up! It's weird; I roll of the bed, and then i grab my clock, and then i fumble for my glasses, and then i straighten up. I tell myself that i must do at least 30 push ups, but it ends there- i just tell myself. You don't know how many days i've told that to myself already. Then i climb back up the bed and fall asleep again.

I am so fucking active.

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My dad's coming on the weekend. Wao, i can't fucking wait to be subject to mental self-torture of self-worthlessness and inferiority. Love ya, dad.

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Maybe i should paint my wall. Yes. In singular form. I'm thinking of something artsy fancy.You know, like the stuff you see in hippie museums. Basically i need a brush, paint, primer... do i still need that permacoat shit?

Grah. Naaah. Im better off sleeping.

UST survey.

grabbed from her.

1. Napuntahan mo na ba ang lahat ng bldgs sa campus?
~ napuntahan oo. naka explore, ndi pa. :))

2. Nakapunta ka na sa may Graduate School?
~ oo. astig. prang ang sarap tuloy mag aral dun next sem. (coughcoughsapanaginipoughcough)

3. Nakipagkita ka na sa may lovers' lane?
~ yap.

4. Nakaupo/tambay ka na ba sa gilid ng mga halaman sa carpark?
~ oo, nung 1st day pa. tae, nakakagulat ang pagkamamaw ng mga tao nun.

5. Tumatambay ka ba sa TYK para magpalamig?
~ oo.

6. E sa Lib? Anong section?
~ filipiniana! haha

7. Eh sa tuktok ng Main?
~ nung may practice pa, oo.

8. Ano ang Joli's?
~ tindahan. bwahahaha.

9. Saan ang Asturias?
~ sa dapitan.

10. Na-experience mo na ba maghealth service?
~yap.

11. Paano ang usapang baha?
~ e di baha. parang may magagawa ka naman. :))

KAINAN

12. Ano ang pinakamahal na fast food resto sa carpark?
~ Hotshots.

13. San ka napakain sa dapitan?
~ madami eh. bwahaha.

14. Saan McDo ka kumakain? Carpark o Lacson?
~ carpark.

15. Ilan ang Jollibee sa Dapitan?
~ Dalawa.

MGA TOMASINO NGA NAMAN

16. Gusto mo ba uniform mo?
~ p-pwede na rin. pero mas oks sana kung kahit ano na lang eh.

17. Nainggit ka na ba sa uniform ng ibang college dahil ayaw mo yung uniform ng college mo?
~ nopers.

18. May picture ka na ba sa harap ng Main?
~ yap.

19. With Benavides?
~ w-wala pa ata.

20. E kasama yung higanteng UST letters na palipat lipat sa campus?
~ oo. haha. pambansang picturan un eh.,

21. Nakagamit ka na ng toilet sa Main?
~ yap. kahit umagang umaga, ambaho pa rin ng cr sa baba amps.

22. Nakadaan ka na ba sa Arch of the Centuries?
~ once. balang araw, dadaan ulit ako doon.

23. Sinong may pinaka-ASTIG na uniform?
~ science, kasi sinabi kooo.lol. wag ka na magulo, survey ko to. :P

24. Naging addict ka b s UAAP dhil sa Tigers?
~nopers.

25. Nakakita ka na ba ng nag-yoyosi sa tapat ng "No Smoking" sign sa may gate ng campus?
~ ndi pa. haha. buti ndi sila binaril nung guard.

26. Na-experience mo na ba ang late suspension ng classes dahil may bagyo?
~ alam ko, oo. pero baka nagpapantasya na naman ako. :|

27. Ano ang feeling?
~ uh. hha.

28. Excited ka ba pag malapit na ang Paskuhan?
~ nung unang paskuhan ko, oo. ewan ko na lang next year.

29. Bakit oo? Bakit hindi?
~ kasi bagong karanasan. ye.

30. Nakikitingin ka ba ng results ng USTET sa catwalk?
~ oo. merong bastos na nagvandal dun. haha. ang cool.

31. Pumila ka na ba sa ATM machine sa Main?
~ ndi papaa. hahaha.

ETC

32. Taga-saang college kba?
~ College of Science.

33. Course?
~ BS Psychology.

34. Yr?
~ First year.

35. Building?
~ main.

36. Ilan sections?
~ 5.

37. Miss mo na UST?
~ miss ko na ang baon. xP

UPDATE: HARDCORE THOMASIAN SURVEY (Try your luck)

38. Ano ang Quadricentennial Park dati?
~ park something. haha.

39. Saan makikita ang playground?
~ Sa Botanical garden? AH! Dun sa may Educ High ata! :)) Tama? :)) ->>> dun na rin ang sagot ko. haha.

40. Anog ang tinanggal nila sa harap ng Central Library para itayo yung walang kwentang TYK?
~ i disagree; ang tyk ay isang bldg para magpalamig ang mga students. :)) tsaka, ewan, ndi ko alam lol.

41. Para sa'yo, saan pinakamadaming magaganda?
~ ewan. kahit saan.

42. E pinakamadaming guwapo?
~ ewan. kahit saan.

43. Saan makikita ang Tennis Court?
~ sa may.. sa may... ye.

44. Saan makikita ang Chinese Engravings?
~ sa lane sa harap ng main.

45. Bago ang Carpark, ano ang patok na kainan dati sa loob ng USTe?
~ Nung dumating kami. Carpark na ang patok eh. :P -->> agreed. :| ewan. si manong ice cream?

46. Saan makikita ang seal ng Spain?
~ sa espanya, lol.

47. Gaano kalalim ang swimming pool?
~ sabi ng kaibigan ko hanggang langit daw lalim nun. :|

48. May canteen ba sa Main Building?
~ Meron. Sa taas. :)

49. Alam mo bang may ilang camera na nakakalat sa campus?
~ f-for free? lol.

50. Ilan ang giant statues sa taas ng main building?
~ basta madami, lol.

"people seek redemption,

Mood: stressed
Now Playing: her morning elegance, oren lavie

other seek happiness. Still others go in pursuit of prominence. I seek only peace." were the words i had written quite some time ago, but couldn't bring myself to publish. There it remained, a draft, here in the posts tab. As to why, however, i have no idea. Maybe it's just me. Or the turtles. Or the dogs - sorry - the dog. Or this effing deafening boredom inside the house that prompts me to write something so... existential. Great.

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I love summer rain. Maybe i'll take an afternoon shower. If it rains.

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Just a Quick Post

So i'm typing this post at the Multiply blog typing tool. (yay, 1st multiply post, lol.) Probably the major difference here is that i can use instead of the plain old :O. Oh, and im checking if this post would cross post to my main blog. Ayun.

Yesterday, we spent majority of the day at the UST lib, catching up on some of the things that needed catching up on. I've finally finished my english term paper, and it's looking.... like an english term paper.

I'll be going for a bit. Will blog about the ginormous shoes i've been wearing this whole week later.

Backflipping and Stuff

Mood: melancholic.
Now Playing: the corrs' version of an REM original, Everybody Hurts.

Today, as i was running a few minutes after the 7 am bell, i fell backfirst from the stairs. It was a good thing i was only one or three steps away from solid ground, otherwise i could have died. Im not kidding nor exaggerating nor implementing any writing strategies. I COULD HAVE DIED.

But i'm still alive, so i guess i could still harp on about how i got face to face with Death. B-)

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I think i'm dying, anyways. Thanks to that incident, i was so fucking wasted, i couldn't focus on my logic quiz. LOGIC. To think that it was the one test i pulled an all-nighter this week. I was like sweating buckets, and my ass and my back and my foot and my elbow were all screaming atrocities at me. I wasn't in pain; it transcends it. Good thing i was seated upfront; the aircon helped blow away some of the pain.

So, thanks to that, i might as well kiss my summer plans goodbye.

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These past few days i've been encountering lots of people who are doing FABULOUSLY on their respective courses. Take note; i'm not saying my usual preferred term to describe people who are doing great: COOL. Im saying FABULOUSLY. FAAAABULOUSLY.

There's this kid, and he's ticking off his unos like bam-bam-bam-bam. He's a fucking DL. I can't believe it.

Then there is these two kids, and they don't have any fails. Just 1's and 2's. Again, i can't believe it.

I believe in signs. Whenever i come across a decision that's hard to make i look for signs. And in these two occasions, i feel that God is telling me something; fix your damn life already son.

The trouble is, i have no idea where to start.