One Liners

Fly so hard you wouldn't have to run

Weekends

Mood: huh? Now Playing: none

Went to eat at Bento-ya today. Pretty cool place. The food was great, the ambiance was great, and the whole mini library thing was a nice touch, as were the counter and the bottles behind it. For 700 pesos, we managed to squeeze in sukiyaki, california maki, gyoza, some kind of tofu with bonito flakes, and kani salad. And o yeah, sake was there, too.

Yeah. Flavor christmas in my tongue, yo.

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My thoughts on Mendoza's kidnap event:

Do not romanticize what is evil, people. There were killings (and brutal ones, at that) , and no amount of reason should be equal to the value of life. People talk about killing the source of evil - the government, the media, the police - but in reality, the source of evil is not these organizations by themselves, but rather the creatures behind it. Yes, i am talking about the human race. To eradicate all evil we must eradicate the human race. See how absurd it sounds? Yes, i knew you would.

And to the police, what the hell is wrong with you guys? Knowing how unstable the guy is, i kind of expected that you guys were going to act according to the situation. What happened was a lapse in... i dunno, brain cells, i think.

And to the media, i know how important it is to get a scoop, an angle, another story. But gdamit, what were you guys thinking? I expected the media to cooperate with the police. I would have expected the media to be for the citizens. But come on. In light of the situation, i advise all of you out there to exercise common sense.

Suffice it is to say that we are all idiots, leading an idiotic charge. To which flag, i do not know. I just hope that someone up there has an idea.

On Love and Bebe

Mood: nothing
Now Playing: use somebody, as covered by AC.

So this Saturday i went to this comic convention with Camille, Bren and Nichola. T'was alright, i guess. But i think the venue should have been bigger, with more stalls. CSC Central wasn't even there, as was the same case with Cast. And i guess it totally needed more stalls. lkasjdlaskdja. Anyway, i was sorely tempted to cash out the little mound of money i've saved for about a week, but i managed to control myself and just bought the comic about Orpheus, Morpheus' son.

Anyway, im typing here to save in this conversation i overheard in the fx ride i took to get there. There were two middle-aged women at the back, and apparently they were talking about a girl named Bebe. They were talking about how awfully wasted Bebe's life was for marrying the wrong guy. From what i gather (and i either gather much or not at all), Bebe was being courted by this guy from Mercury Drug. Mercury Drug Guy was good. He was well-off enough, polite and good with elders. And he's well-off enough (emphasis on enough). Well-off enough to treat and woo not the girl herself, but the girl's brother and sister to malls every weekend. The two women were all for Mercury Drug guy. "Who wouldn't?" they would say. "He's talented, well-off enough and polite. Choose him, Bebe! Choose him!"

But apparently, Bebe did not choose Mercury Drug Guy. Instead, Bebe chose someone poorer than she is, and the poor shmuck of a guy is now even bed-ridden with heart disease. And the two women were like this "sayang naman si Mercury Drug Guy. Ang Bobo talaga ni Bebe at pinakawalan pa niya. Bobo, tanga at matigas ulo" the WHOLE FREAKING TIME.

We were nearing Baclaran then, and they were going to mass. I wasn't much bothered by their conversations the few minutes before. But when i heard this line from the woman across me:

"Dapat kasi sa ganyan, hindi pinapairal ang pag-ibig. Dapat eto o. Eto (points to head). Hindi ka papakainin ng puso mo. Hindi niya mapapagaral anak mo. Tingnan mo yang si Bebe. Mahirap na nga, mahirap pa ang pinangasawa"

What the fuck. I didn't know what to say, so i just shut up and gazed out the window, my mind a blur of thoughts. They alighted a little ways off the Baclaran church, and i stared at them as my FX speeded away.

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I know im not the most romantic dipshit out there, and i know i have a lot of things to learn and understand about love and all it's shit. But i think that what those two women said were definitely crap, and don't get me started on how stupid it is to discuss something so private in another person's life inside a public vehicle.

I think i speak for a lot of us when i say that love is a shitty feeling, but it shouldn't be governed by something as material as money. Even if you say that love is overrated, love is bitter, love is shit, the thing is, it IS all that, MORE of that even. It is never easy, it is never easy-going. It is a constant struggle of shitty days versus even shittier days, with the possible exception of happy sunshiny days, and they come in fewer and fewer doses as the years pile up.

But that's not to say that love should be ruled by material want, no. Whatever happened to the feeling that you had when you were a teenager? When you believed that everything is possible, that everything is within your reach? Does it expire as easily as the days that go by? Does it expire when the world eats you and your daily life? Or does it expire the day that you lose your faith in it?


... yeah, i think so too, you middle aged assholes.

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I think i swore to myself, once. To never ever let the kid inside die. To never ever stop believing in life and all it's intricacies. But then i realize how much time i have spent hunting for good music nowadays. Mostly kasi, it's just the same old routine: go to school. have fun. study. wake up, rinse and repeat. At times, it's peppered with other people's problems, bumming around and just having fun. Don't get me wrong... i love my friends to bits. And that's saying something already, as i don't love that many a thing.

But i just want to do something with my life. It feels like i've been watching my life play on and on while i'm just at the backseat, y'know? I feel like i'm a fucking doormat. I want to take charge, for once and decide how to do things, how to fuck around without worrying what would happen tomorrow. It feels like im in a fucking perpetual "safety mode". Gdmnit.

I feel like im on the wrong side of things. Or maybe the wrong course? Carol C. says i should be somewhere in ads. But i think she's lying, because Carol C. is a huge bitch. lol joke and peace. I dunno shit.

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Why are people so hard to understand, i wonder?

Things

Mood: fail
Now Playing: yui, cherry

I have a knack for losing things.

I don't know why, but i keep on losing stuff. Just this day, i lost my freaking 8 - MONTHS phone. What the fuck, i keep on saying to myself. How can you lose a fucking phone? What the fuck, indeed.

I think my memory wires are wired wrong somewhere, as i tend to remember the wrong facts at the wrong time. Or if that isn't the case, i'm preoccupied - there's a huge bunch of stuff wrapped around my mind that i can't put my finger on a specific it. Thoughts are a already wretched, wretched thing, but being thoroughly immersed in them however, is even worse.

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I guess i should start picking myself up again, soon. I have about a dozen things to save up for, and about half a dozen things to save. Not to mention life is brutally after my life and apparently stress wants every inch of me.

Picking up yourself from the ground is a process, but it's never ending. If this is true, then does this mean that we're always in the ground, that we're always wallowing in pity? Nope, i don't think so. The laws of physics help me in this one: in order to fall, we must be standing up, first.

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I'm not confusing what i study from what i see in real life here, but i think i have a condition. S'alright, it's nothing to harp on about, nothing serious or even remotely fatal. I even hear that all of this might be just imagined, y'know. After all, it's not hard to relate to something if you've been reading it for the past three years already.

i guess even if you dismiss it as something common, it is still there. Gaahd.

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I don't want to lose stuff anymore. People are temperamental and leave, sometimes even at the most inopportune times. But come on, it doesn't follow that objects have to go that path, too.

Tomorrow is Pretty Near

Mood: fine
Now Playing: CHERRY- YUI

I really like YUI. Even though her songs are mostly in japanese, and she's like a hundred miles away from here, i really really like her songs. I dunno if it's because i think girls that can play instruments are fucking cool. I dunno if it's because my mastery of the japanese language is a working progress, and yet i can still understand the emotions stitched into ever word. I dunno if it's because of the fact that YUI is a girl who like wearing band shirts and jeans and sneakers and she looks pretty fucking comfy in it. I dunno, i just dunno. She's amazing.

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Prelims ended today, yay! Bummed around at Bren's for a while before wandering the aisles of department stores alone. Pretty funny fact: i like doing my shopping alone. When i was a kid, i always got this set amount of money from mom before going out to shop for school supplies.

Anyway, i'm sitting here bumming around, and i kind of wish i had this bottle of soy milk around. Crap. should have brought one ages ago. askljdask.

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Thought about things after watching taiyo no uta, and reaffirmed some of the laws i have established about life and it's complexities. Won't go into details here - typing taxes me now gahdamet - but one thing's for sure. Getting the facts straight is one thing. Getting them done, however, is another.

To Sophie,

This is a long, long overdue post.

People think it's weird for me to name things. To enumerate, i have an iPod named Elizabeth, a desktop pc named User, cellphones named Marx (MIA) and Jeeplings, and of course, the cake on top of the icing, a laptop named Sophie.

Sophie is fucking awesome. She's seen me on my worst days, and all of the days more worse than worse days. I guess as someone who aspires to write, sophie was like a huge venting machine. Ideas for novels, short stories and the like flooded her every now and then. She knows how fucking infuriating it is for me to have a dozen word documents open, full of half baked ideas and crap. She knows how hard it is for me to stop surfing the net whenever there's something interesting afloat the webspace. She knows how that weird stain on my shirt got there in the first place.

She knows how much i really really really like mirai shida and horikita maki. She knows how i fail so much when i try and write a novel, and yes, she knows that that for the record, the highest number of chapters i have ever written for a single novel is just a single digit. She knows how much i slip up and fuck up. She knows where i keep the keys to everything. She knows how i like to sleep in during the day with music.

She knows how much i cried at fucking drama movies. She knows what my 1st published article is. She know how much i liked to edit videos and stuff, she knows the right programs, the right pace, the right games. She fucking knows me.

And now i am faced with the fact that i may indeed have to invest in another unit, another one like sophie. And honestly, im sorely tempted to do so; who wouldn't want another laptop unit, possibly even better than sophie could ever hope to be?

But no. I'll save this lunk of metal even it drains me.

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More visceral version:

EVEN IF IT FUCKING DRAINS ME, YOU PIECE OF FUCKING COCK METAL ASS SHIT. I shall save you, because i miss yooooou. GDMIT SOPHIE. Getfucking better soon.