I Think You Should Read This

Mood: none
Now Playing: owl city rainbow veins

It was during my return trip to Paranaque, the evening of July 16, 2009, that the streets were completely flooded. Public transport vehicles were stuck and were forced to make a u-turn. Sadly though, the u-turn was miles away from home. Faced with the idea of spending more time in the rain, my friend and I clambered out of the FX and made our steady way home. We finally reached a mall - also completely flooded, what the hell is up with the drainage - and sought refuge for a moment or so.

The next minute, this pink, government-owned bus comes rolling in and offered us measly sheep - i mean commuters - free rides. We made our way inside(and so did a thousand others) and i found myself seated at the very last seats at the back, smack at the aisle. The next second later, i found my face squashed with the backpack of man in front of me, as he kept backing down the aisle into my face. Blast you, backpack man! Break my glasses and there will be bloodshed, i promise.

So anyway, there were two ladies to my immediate left, followed by my friend. To my right, there were these salesmen, i guess, from the shoe department at SM. The guys were yelling at the people still stuck outside in the flood "babaay~ next trip na lang kayo!" in the same jeering voice we use to bullshit our politicians. I was at a loss for words. I mean, we're practically the same, aren't we? Just the same wet, tired, sticky humans. Why go so far as to make fun of other people?

Apparently, the two women to my left thought the same. I later learned that they were both strangers, and both had come from a busy day. "Ah, taga UST ka pala. It's nice to be young" said the one nearest me. "nag aral ako sa FEU dati, kaya alam ko kung paano lumusong sa baha, haha. Masarap ang buhay studyante, masarp. May baon ka. May uuwian. Mamimiss mo rin yan kapag nagtrabaho ka na. Mahirap mag trabaho, mahirap. Madaming babayaran. Pero kailangan, diba? Hindi naman pwedeng hindi ka magtrabaho." She finished, her gaze someplace else.

And maybe it was the light from the bus that casted deep shadows on her face, but at that moment, i saw a person jaded but still determined, to make it out alive. She wore no make-up, nor did she look particularly dazzling. There was even this tired expression painted upon her face. But there was no trace of malice or anger or whatnot there, even though i was sure she was just like the rest of us in that bus - tired, wet, and hungry. All that there was was her determination to the things she could do. I admire that. I mean, how could we believe in the world, when we do not even believe in our own neighbors?

In retrospect, i should have said more things. I should have told her that i was losing my faith in humanity, that i was losing what made me human. Maybe she would have told me a lot of things in return, things that i would use to cheer me out of this dump. Maybe she would have told me how to believe again, to trust in things that are outside one's power. I mean, here was a twenty something woman with a job that seemed to believe in things that i, as a student and a youth, had trouble even considering.

Feeling uncomfortable, i slightly shifted the conversation to more everyday things, like what her work was and such. But inevitably, my thoughts would wander again to what she said. Even as i exited the bus and looked back at them seated at the back, i wonder if the wave i gave them would speak the words i longed to say.

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For now, i'll believe in this conversation, and draw hope and trust from it. I mean, if people can bond together and initiate conversations with utter strangers in the midst of a crisis, then i must assume that people can also bond together, even if the presence of a crisis is zero.

I must.

There. I'm feeling brave already. Wondrous, the human mind really is.

PS.
There are also some things which are bothering me so damn much but as of the moment, i won't be elaborating here. Maybe ill write on the doors again. This sucks.