Starting 2010 pt 1

Mood: yeah.
Now Playing: barbara ann, the beach boys.

So although it's been a week into 2010, this is my 1st post for the year 2010, the year of the whatever. This year's new year's eve was funny; there was a freaking full moon, and from what i've heard, it's pretty special, since its the 2nd full moon this month. So anyway, the night's highlight (apart from the pretty lights and the sounds) happened when i, complete with a trumpet on my mouth, was sitting on one of the balcony's bench chairs. I leaned back to look at the moon above and was suddenly reminded of wolves howling at the moon, their long fur bunching around their necks and their posture erect, whilst us humans were content blowing on a trumpet, leaning quite carelessly on a bench. I dunno. It was just weird. Like we were howling at some forgotten instinct, using the trumpets as the medium to howl at the moon. Then i brushed off the thoughts and helped myself to another spoonful.

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2009 in wordss:

Personally, it was visually compelling. From this viewpoint, all i could remember were the cool and manly times. Social psychologists call this rosy retrospection, but i prefer to call it nostalgia. Adds a little bit of reality, y'know. So anyway, why visually compelling? Why, it just seemed like a good choice of words at the time. LOL. haha. You know fireworks, right? They're just like that; visually compelling and like badabing badabom dey see me rolling~... that kind of shiz.

Aaand, if you're familiar with them fireworks, then maybe you know the feeling you get when you see them flashing up the sky and then you close your eyes and boom, you could still see them even with your eyes closed. I know there's a term for that, but ohwell. The point is, 2009 was just like that - a visually compelling series of fireworks that you could take anywhere, cause you could close your eyes and tune out everything, but still, you know that the second your eyelids hit home, you'd still see those fireworks like it was happening right now. 2009 was pretty much like that - fun and boredom and weirdo and gay filled. Each day was pretty much interesting, in one way or another, even though at times i'd like nothing better than to go straight home and sleep in my bed. Maybe there were bad times, yeah. Like studying up for a chemlab quiz or staying awake during a chemlec lecture or just the simple pain of getting up for another day's school work. But i suppose having some aslkdjasklfriendsaslkdjas going through the same shiz means and helps a whole lot.

And i suppose i'd like to thank those guys who made waking up every monday morning a bit easier - friends. The ones that matter are the ones that are. You people are the best and my god, i can't believe im saying this cheesy sort of stuff, but cheers for more years to come, and i like you all, you sons of beaches! xD

I don't think im making enough sense, do you? HAHA. demmet.

AND OH DEMMET. 2009 was freckled heavily with disasters and shiz too. I-i can't think of anything to say to those who were affected by the huge ass shiznit that kept coming on us like rain. No, seriously. I just hope that whatever they'e doing to cope, whatever they're doing to rebuild their lives again, sticks like shiz.

By the way, I kind of like long lists now, soo..

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2009 IN FLASHBACKS

1. Staying up late even more.
2. Dulasawit days.
3. Birthdays. (other people's of course. i still don't like my birthdays)
4. Movies at Bren's.
5. Porn Movies at Nichola's.
6. Them painting my cabinet white.
7. 1st summer class. and hopefully, the last.
8. In school at 5 in the morning.
9. Editing a soundtrack over and over and over again.
10. Eating street food
11. Eating street food with friends. argh drama.
12. Too much drama.
13. Overdosing (i think) on stress tabs and biogesics.
14. Backflipping.
15. Feeling so stupid, it hurts like hell.
16. Coming to terms.
17. Progressing, with dad.
18. Getting published in college for the first time.
19. Finding things interesting instead of finding it dull.
20. Kicking a football ball.
21. Playing games on the grass with a lot of amazing people.
22. Overnighting at Cavite.
23. Overnighting everywhere.
24. Waking up on the wrong side of bed. Literally.
25. Receiving a giant ass pillow. Colored pink. agggh. haha xDD

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continued here.

The Things Christmas Can Do

Mood:
Now Playing: the con, tegan and sara

So it's Christmas, and my gahd, the air is freezing even when it's all sunny and bright and amazing a little while ago. And i guess this weather is freaking perfect, it feels amazing when this sudden blast of wind assaults your face and you close your eyes for a second and then bam~ you feel the sun on your eyelids. It's freaking amazing, what could i say.

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Anyway, a little while ago my relatives came over to visit. And these two kids, see? They're freaking balls of freaking energy, it's as if their muscles are made out of chemical x or something. mygahd. We have these.. shooting things called Nerfs. They fire these little air bullets made of a suction end and some.. some plastic foam as the bullet's body. mygad, hala sige, baril kung baril. soon enough, the stairs had them bullets sticking out like sum kind of weird mushrooms. didn't took long enough for us to join in and pretty soon, we were firing at each other's faces like sum demented chuck norris fan.

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we ate a late dinner, and by the time the ham was gone, they were already sharing stories, catching up and shit. you know how adults go; they get caught up in their own little worlds so much that when the rare opportunity like this comes in which they can share and bond, they do it in generous helpings.

and so this was how i got acquainted with a myriad of stories told over mouthfuls of chocolate cake, ham, liempo and alcohol. Some were pretty weird and like O.O, others short and pretty shallow and sometimes there were stories behind stories, like those subliminal messages and shit. And i guess this was more like a release for them, more therapeutical than for the sake of entertainment. One thing's funny, though. Adults still don't understand the concept of telling a joke, and more than once, i was forced to laugh, which by the way is ironic, because im not fan of forced laughter. haha.

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So after the guests left, and Dad was about halfway through his bottle, he started telling stories my gad. it was horrifying to hear your dad tell you stories about his childhood (or in his case, lack of) and other things. And as much as i hate to admit it, he's a aslkjdaing amazing person. i mean, he finished an infrastructure project that was due in 8 months in 2 freaking months, leaving a huge 6-month allowance. that's gotta be freaking amazing. plus i feel like he's coming to terms with all this old age thing, and i suppose that's a good thing. at least we haven't had a shouting match in the first few days he's been here, and that's a really good thing, i suppose.

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OHSHIT, I JUST REMEMBERED A LINE FROM THE BOOK I'VE BEEN READING. AND I SWEAR I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE, IT JUST HAPPENED AS I WAS TYPING THE ABOVE PART OF THIS BLOGPOST.

Through it all, despite it all, Eddie privately adored the old man, because sons will adore their fathers through even the worst behavior. It is how they learn devotion. Before he can devote himself to God or a woman, a boy will devote himself to his father, even foolishly, beyond explanation.

-the five people you meet in heaven.

mygsd. what conspiracies. i don't know whether to clap or sleep nao.

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i know i practically say this every damn blogpost, but i've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately, and it's pretty much creeping me out. there's a lot of things i want to make sure of, like whose life i'll walk with will be, or like will the things with a lot of things settle down, or will i ever finish this thing im doing. and it's amazing to think that i can still stumble through the day without knowing the answers to these questions, or without going crazy at the thought of it. but i guess in the end, happiness is a state of mind, and although

EDIT. holy crap what the hell was that right now. the next part grossed me out, so... *delete*delete*delete*

Thank You, Ashley Bell

Mood: yay
Now Playing: kimi no shiranai monogatari, supercell.

i think i've finally understood the true meaning of the word "PAIN". My whole ankle freaking hurts like someone is constantly sawing the bones inside. How can you get this lovely sensation, you ask? why, just walk around moa for like 6 hours non stop, with no breaks and shiz. my gad, i swear i hear myself creak whenever i move. laksdjlakdj. haha xDD

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anyway, this blogpost isn't about my aches and pains, nope. it's this book, y'see. and i guess a lot of people are familiar with the title: the five people you meet in heaven, by mitch albom. and the cool thing is, i ,managed to find a HARDBOUND copy of it at a booksale for 125 pesoooos. amazing right? right.

but the more amazing thing is the first page. there it is, in the top left corner of the page is written Ashley Bell, 12/04. - from Mom. and my gad, that is the most touching thing i've seen today. mygadmygadmygad. pretty freaking amazing, if you ask me. i was just passing by a booksale when i suddenly had the urge to boom, look inside. i walk in, and the first thing i see is this book and the next thing i know i was resisting the urge to pump a fist in the air and scream "yessz beaches!"

i kind of like the idea of having a book with your name on it going places. like you get this feeling that somewhere out there, someone is reading the same book that you read a few years ago. somewhere out there, someone is feeling the same feelings that you got, too. it's pretty mysterious, when you think about it. will the person pass it on, too? or will the chain stop right freaking there?


i knew i said before that this post would not consist of my whining but... DEMMET EVERYONE. would someone just chop of my feet so it wouldn't hurt anymore, kthanks.

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also bought the latest kikomachine, and a paperback copy of charlie and the chocolate factory, complete with illustrations from quentin blake. B-)

i so love booksale right now. if booksale was human we would've been best buds. :D

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and oh, mom and dad met me up at moa, then we ate at mang inasal. good fooood. i think i just my own weight in chicken, which i guess is not a good thing. sigh. hahaha. xDD merr christmas na nga lang. xD

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and in case the real ashley bell who was given this book by her mom reads this, know that your book is in good hands. and yeah, thanks again.

In Shining Armor

Mood: wow yay
Now Playing: attack in black, young leaves.

Garden State remains as one of the cutest movies iver ever seen. asldkjas. i dunno about you guys, but... arghhhdaskdsl;kd;sds;ldk. Aside from the awlkdjaslkdjaslkdjas cute story it dishes out, it has a killer soundtrack that blends in perfectly. It has its faults, yes (like the rushed ending), but the two leads, Braff and Portman, portray their characters so perfectly and cutely it makes me want to aslkdjalskdj. They look so damn cute together, too. This line alone from Andrew and Sam floored me. This happens as andrew's friend, Mark, leads them around a wild goose chase around town. They start in a hardware store, then a peep hotel until they finally land in a seemingly deserted quarry.

Andrew Largeman: I think we've corrupted this innocent girl enough for one day!
Sam: I'm not innocent.
Andrew Largeman: Yes, you are! That's what I like about you, okay?
And I don't want this guy taking you to some sketchy
quarry in the middle of Newark to find crack whores huffing
turpentine or pit bulls raping each other or whatever else is down here!
Mark: Man... that's the most worked up I've ever seen you.
Sam: (to Mark)He's protecting me.(smiles and giggles)
Andrew Largeman: (hesitantly, to Sam) So?
Sam: He *likes* me! (giggle)
Andrew Largeman: Don't be cute.
Sam: He's my knight in shining armoor~ (giggles some moar)

If that wasn't cute, i don't know wth is. and it's funny, because the things that you see in this moive, the things that they do, the things that they get themselves into, it can actually happen. well, at least i think they can. alsdjaskdjas. and im so freaking jealous of andrew largeman, cause he can actually have this amazing girl - a girl named samantha, which i think is a pretty cute nameaskldjsdkajs, next to alice and ellie, of course - that he can actually postpone fxing his life, just to be with this one person he has met for a span of four days and it's freaking amazing, im actually having trouble finding the right adjectives to describe it, cause how can you describe something so amazing and touching? damn it. damn it damn damn it.

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so everything is pretty much okay. went to a lot of places this week. theater play and star city on sunday, moa on monday, and pretty much bummed around the university the rest of the week. stayed late at the university a couple of times, sitting in the grass and just singing around the guitar shan brought to school. peaceful times. didn't know a couple of songs, so i made a mental playlist to search for when i have the time.

had this... this badingle which is pretty much like our version of a kris kringle. all items had to be worth 50 pesos and below, and we had to buy it when we were together at the world trade bazaar, a few weeks ago. received a bonnet which is looking pretty awesum on yours truly. gave a wooden scratcher and a slinky - gotta love my bargaining powers, fudgeyeah - to nicholesbo. tambayed until nighttime, singing old school songs and whatnot. found this weird hole in the grass, so pictures were taken and shiz.

Played L4D yesterday, and we freaking won. hahaha. i feel so epic, i wish i could make a cake out of it. and and, Nichola and Pola played for the first time yesterday. They did good, for starters. Yep, srsly. Though it may look like im saying this to everyone, they really did play okay.

it's officially the start of the christmas vacation, and im loving every inch of it. :)

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i wonder, if my life was a sitcom, what the hell would i title it?

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i've started playing sims 3 again~! Pekla comments on it as "cute", and i think she's cool for that. Yuss. My only problem now with my sim is that his love interest calls him every freaking damn second, and i find it cute and irritating at the same time. hahahaha.

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The above lines from Garden State floored me, so it wouldn't be a surprise if i say i was freaking shocked she knew Garden State. Haha. Not a lot of people do, and if you do, you're a good guy. It's like this: there are only two kinds of people in the world. The good guys that know Garden State and the bad guys, that don't. Pwhahahaa.

lol, i exaggerate too much.

anyway, so the above lines got me thinking about sappy stuff too. and don't get me wrong, i hate sappy stuff. no, i really really doo.aldjaslkdjsk. i can't stand reading romance novels. i don't like valentines. i hate teddy bears. okay kid. i like bears. BUT STILLLLL. demmet demmet.

and about the sappy things i thought of, i'd best keep them to myself, lest i drag myself to an asylum.

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where do the lines we think of come from? y'know, the inner conversations we have in our heads. where do we get them? is it random? is it a work of the mind? the heart? and after everything has been said and done, where do all of the thoughts go? when i was a kid, i remember imagining that there was a Thought Island where used thoughts go and converge and relax and then go to new people before returing back to Thought Island. but then, i had to grow up, and i guess now, i'd like to believe that there is, that there is a Thought Island just above there in the clouds.

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Beside a fire, relaxing.

Andrew Largeman: Let's just talk about good stuff.
Sam: Good stuff?
Andrew Largeman: Yeah. Glass half full shit. What do you got?
Sam: I got a little buzz. I got that.
[laughs]

Sam: What you got?
Andrew Largeman: I got a little buzz going
[pauses]
Andrew Largeman: and I like you.
[Sam, embarassed, giggles]
Andrew Largeman: So there's that. I guess I have that.

Sam: I can tap-dance. You wanna see me tap-dance?
Andrew Largeman: I would love to see you tap-dance.

Damn it. Why so cute, Garden State?

All For a Saturday

Mood: confused.
Now Playing: the fray's look after you (cover by aesandrummer)

Had football class yesterday, 9-11. The sun was merciless and beat upon us all senseless with the heat. But whenever the ball soared between open hands (or okay, legs) and you had to go running after it, everything was pushed to the back of the mind as you ordered your dirt-coverd legs the most basic command of all: Run. All that mattered was that you catch up to the ball and and you kick it towards your partner. All that was present was you and the wind only.

I like the wind. Espescially when, at night, a sudden breeze blows through your whole being and you feel engulfed in it's body. Or aun nga, whenever you're running, and you could feel your hair being blown back, and realize that you're becoming one with the wind. It's a pretty funny feeling. You wish that somehow, you could be a part of that wind and just escape to the heavens. But you know you can't do that, nope, you can't. A secret part of you, the one that's most in tune with reality, will oppose the wind inside you and ground you with it's chains.

Why am i mentioning this, i have no idea.

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So last saturday, after going to Ieya's, manila zu and the world trade bazaar, (yes, all of happened in a saturday. sorry ndi na ako umabot sa star city) i dropped by moa to pick up some things. of course, i dropped by powerbooks too, and was immediately assaulted by my ultimate freaking longing - the solitaire mystery by jostein gaarder. pricing at around 350, this book is at the pinnacle of my xmas shopping list, as i think i owe it to myself to read gaarder again.

you may be wondering now, what the hell is up with ding and his gaarder fascination? simple, it was his book, The Orange Girl, that changed my view on things. i won't say how or why it changed my views, but one thing is for sure; this book marks a lot of things, and one if it is my first step into the appreciation of life and possibly, of redemption itself.

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among other things, i saw a copy of vince teves' Vince's Life, and the sequel, Getting Over Andrea. I was immediately reminded of this line i really liked from the sequel, which kind of echoes how i feel about the subject in question, too.

(after Cat asks what Vince's definition of love is)
"Fireworks," I finally said. Cat looked at me from where she was lying by turning her head sideways and upwards.

"It was like fireworks. You know how fireworks are always a surprise? It was like that. Everything was magical and just when i thought it couldn't get better, it always did get better until i thought i would explode with joy. And then it was over." - pg 80-81.

taken from this blogpost

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i'll be walking forward, even if the road im taking is full of thorns. even if i had a choice, i'll still choose this one, because just like coldplay's yellow goes, "for you i'll bleed myself dry." why? cause you're the only one i'll ever wait for, you stupid fucking bitch.

damnit. sentimentality is killing me.

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on another and happier note, das saw this oldschool cam and is attempting to revive it. it's a Nikon FA, and aslkdjsalkdjaslkd, i cannot wait to try it out once it gets fixed. Picture below shows me in my room holding said camera. do not mind the slave playing the guitar

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so far i've been using the digicam Lucy, and well. aun. she's getting pretty old, so i need to scrape up enough money to either fix her up or buy a new one. im thinking one that's pretty compact and shiznit, so it'll be super easier to carry out of the house.

yuss~ another strain on the already strained wallet. agggh.

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oh and by the way? i saw this really neat cover of stephen speak's passenger seat on youtube a while ago, and i was like screaming expletives at the talent she has. w-wao. haha xDD

aaand, speaking of guitars, a lot of people seem to be playing theirs lately, and it makes me want to play again. (not that i ever really was something at guitars, aghk. >.<)

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... too early, huh?