A Tribute to Chubby the Dog

I have three dogs. One just died today, a big, black, brown and white colored, hotdog-shaped, guardian of fur, muscle and blood. Chubby is his - im sorry - was his name, and he wore a blue collar.

He came to us not long ago; it was early 2008, the exact date slipping away from my knowledge. He was little. Little and long; i distinctly remember thinking that he resembled a hot dog. He was not a dachshund; he was just an ordinary dog you could see in the streets. But, in all senses, he was a great one, quiet but fierce in his ways. However, unlike most of his kind, he would not go berserk at the sight of us, he would casually wag a tail and rest a head on our palms. I liked that about him.

To his soul and dedication, i offer this 151st blogpost, an endeavor i would not have reached lest i was given the security and the devotion he selflessly gave on those nights that darkness, doubt and evil penetrated my mind. I also offer, i hope, a moment of silence from those who are reading this, and a prayer that your pets live a long life.

I hear a lot of barking, and it's the middle of the day. It's not just our dogs that Chubby Sumatra left, Burikat and Ming, that are doing all the noise. All around the neighborhood, i can hear barks of varying lengths and intensities. It's quite eerie and short y'know. By this time the barking and howling have stopped, and i am engulfed by a silence disrupted only by the sound of my keyboard.

I Will...

Mood: defeated
Currently listening to: car underwater, armor for sleep

1. be turning off the desktop and turning on the laptop.
2. be wishing for the best and
3. be dreaming again. This time, i hope it'll be a dream i can look back upon.
4. be hoping that when i wjdkljsadlakjsdakls

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EDIT.

click.

2:54 - 3:03.

Just a few seconds.

Sappy Lines at 2 in the Morning

Mood: i don't know. :|
Currently listening to: none.

Waking up at early has it's benefits. For the past hour, i've been reading the sequel to Vince's life, armed with a pillow and a cup of coffee.

Yes, i KNOW. It's one of those PSICOM books you can grab off powerbooks or national for 150 pesos. It's very cheap - i think i just pointed that out - but it has content.

Fuck the Twilight story, put it in the afterburner for a while.

"Fireworks," I finally said. Cat looked at me from where she was lying by turning her head sideways and upwards.

"It was like fireworks. You know how fireworks are always a surprise? It was like that. Everything was magical and just when i thought it couldn't get better, it always did get better until i thought i would explode with joy. And then it was over." - pg 80-81.


Cute lines from an agent slash college writer slash working kid.

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I guess i should talk about the Paskuhan(the annual UST Christmas celebration). In describing Paskuhan 08, i would most likely give the words many, people,yearning, fireworks, orange girl, lost, high school, peace, love and sepia.

I feel so stupid. I'll shut up now.

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I think about how broken all of us are, and i can't help but smile a little at the beauty of healing that is contained in such a gentle and frail being.

Deep Inside.

Mood: WEIRD. :))
Currently listening to: how to save a life, the fray

I've been laughing these past few days, and here's probably a
reason why. For the record...

rb rb rb!: tae benta talaga yung nag pk saken
rb rb rb!: nagulat kasi ako
rb rb rb!: pinagmamasadan yung pagpatay ko
rb rb rb!: tapos biglang inatake ako
rb rb rb!: pots agad eh
rb rb rb!: tapos tinira ko
rb rb rb!: nadapa
rb rb rb!: haha
rb rb rb!: di natumayo

LAUGHTRIP. Haha, usapang Cabal yan, deep inside. PK PK PK PK PK PK PK PK!

Plus, there's this thing with the victim, aka --DORDOR's assassination-- Potek, seryoso palang na blog un. :)) Tsaka talagang alam ko naman talaga deep inside na joke un! Deeep inside! =))

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Bukas nga pala paskuhan, ung super mega duper califragilistic xmas celebration ng UST. Yehey, unang beses ko mararanasan un. Can't wait. Sabi din ng mga kilala kong sempai uber cool din daw un eh. Yehey.

Combination.

Mood: melancholic.
Currently listening to: this. and this.

Sometimes i wonder if i wa

How many times have i started a post with those freaking words?

"Sometimes i wonder"

Such a lonely combination of words.

I Had Icing For Breakfast

Mood:quiet
Currently listening to: when did we lose ourselves, by the bigger lights.

I've been listening to a song over and over again, think

For now, i'll just be counting the stars when i see them, amazed at how someone can shine just like them.

ps.
The title's true. I really had icing for breakfast, yum yum. And oh, i encourage you to listen to my currently playing song, when did we lose ourselves, by the bigger lights. No, i am not the band's manager nor ad agent, it just happens that i'm a very cool guy. rofl. :)) Just hear it out. Maybe it's your story, too.

EDIT
I just realized that i've been listening to the bigger lights since last blogpost! ROFL. :)) adik, adik, adik. I need to get some more sleep. :))

Today, I

Mood:happy.
Currently listening to: When did we lose ourselves, the bigger lights

Today I...
1. Woke up at around 4:30 am today. I found the slippers underneath the bed, the laptop a few inches away from my face and the pillows scattered.
2. Then i thought of Then mom came and launched into another sermon. The next thing i know, it was 5 am.
3. Akala ko malalate na ako. I forced every fiber of my body to be calm. I failed.
4. I drew a picture for a friend's theo report. Surprisingly, it looked a lot like Dora. Then i realized that it also looked like someone else, too.
5. I ate a palabok today for 35 pesos. Nabusog naman. Bumili din ako ng watermelon shake.
6. My fil102 professor skipped class again today. I felt uneasy and started going in and out of the classroom.
7. I passed my features article for csj today. Alam ko napasa ko na un, eh. Anyway, im sure na rereject din un kasi hindi ko naman kilala ung i feafeature ko, haha.
8. I have been checking out the net for new bands since i got home. Click, ang ganda nung gitara tsaka nung girl.

Corregidor pt 3: Kinabukasan

Mood:
Currently listening to: dijurido, the seatbelts

Nagising na rin ang lahat matapos nun. 5 am? 6 am? Hindi ko alam. Nawala ang sense ko ng oras nun.

Madami ang pumunta sa recreation room para mag hanap ng -what else?- kape. Pampainit, pampagising. Ooohhh kape. KAAAAPEEE.

Kaso kabooyah. Walang kape sa recreation room, kundi breakfast. Longganisa, kanin tsaka ketchup na malamig. Ndi ko rin nalasahan. Basta kinain ko na lang.

Matapos mag breakfast, naglibot libot muna ako. Pumunta ako sa dock mismo, sa lugar kung saan hinahampas ng dagat ang shore. Meron ng 3 taong andun, si Gene pos di ko na kilala ung dalawa pa.

Doon pala ang super winds. Feeling ko nalaglag na lang ang buhok ko sa ulo sa sobrang lakas ng hangin. Umupo ulit ako at tinuloy ang pangagngarap.

Pos dumating ung iba pang kakagising pa lang o mga tapos na mag bfast.

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Pagkatapos nun, pina ready na kame. May mga usap usapan na navy daw ang susundo samin. Ang cool naman namen nun. YEH.

Pero as it turns out, ganun pa rin ung ship. =))

The trip home was cool. Dameng gumamet ng barf bags. Ugh. Dahil sa lumipat ako ng upuan, nasa likod ko ung trash can. So ugh, ang dame kong inabot at tinapon na barf bags. Natawa na lang kame ng katabi ko, si Ray.

Inabutan kami ng attendant ng cotton bud na may White Flower. Baka daw kasi mag throw up na rin kami dahil sa kumakalat na amoy ng vomit sa air. Tumawa na lang ako't nakipagkwentuhan na lang hanggang sa makarating ako ng Maynila.

Hanggang sa makarating ng Maynila, ang usok, ang dami ng tao, ang katangahan.

Cool.

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Kanina lang, i realized that i have found my inspiration. My muse. An orange girl in the flesh.

Now i only have to see how this turns out.

Corregidor pt 2: Sino ba Ang Nagsabing Mainit sa Corregidor?

Mood: elated
Currently listening to: the last song i'll ever write about a girl, the ataris

Dahil sa sobrang lakas na ng alon mga bandang 6 pm, sinabi sa amin na kailangan naming magpalipas ng gabi sa Corregidor. Biglaan namang nag overdrive ang utak ko.

Thought 1. Ay takte. Overnight?!
Thought 2. Overnight?
Thought 3. YE! OVERNIGHT!

Yung plano ng mga authorities, kakain ang kalahati ng grupo sa hotel. Ung iba, sa recreation area. Swerte naman at ung grupo ko napunta sa hotel para kumain ng dinner. Bandang 6 am din nung nawala na ang battery ng cellphone ko. Disconnected na ako sa sibilisasyon.

Kaso nung binigay na ang mga room assignments, nalaman ko na ang mga guys matutulog sa hostel. Eh naalala ko bigla ung movie the hostel. Eh di ba sooobrang gory nun? Since na torture movie ung hostel, YEH. Angdameng dugo tsaka nililipad na body parts.

Kaya aun. Ayun lang inisip ko. Kumbaga, hostel, torture, hostel, torture, hostel. Hindi pa nakatulong ung pagkain nung dinner. Adobo pare. Mukhang laman ng tao. Ung mga taba pa naman nung adobo TABA talaga. OMFG.

Tapos ang mga kasabay ko pang kumain nun, tangina nananakot den. Magbaon daw ako ng salt tsaka ng pepper. Si Jhanna pa nga pinahiram sa kin ung rosary na bracelet niya. Panakot daw sa mga alagad ng dilim. Yesss, alagad ng dilim! Hanglalim.

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Ung mga girls naman, pinatulog sa hotel. Oo, sa HOTEL. Hindi hostel, kung ndi, HOTEL. May shower. May towels. May guard. May ilaw.

Pos ang mga guys naman, sa hostel, aka torture. Naghanda sila ng 72 mattresses(take note, i use the word MATTRESSES. Hindi BEDS).Ang total count lang ng lahat ng guys 67 ata. So bale 67/72.

So hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nawalan ng higaan. Wala pa namang kaso ng mga taong kumakain ng higaan dahil lang sa na stranded.

Paghahanap ng malilibangan. Ayan ang naging una kong prayoridad. Lumabas kame nina Xtian, Bren tsaka ni David ng hostel. Buti na lang, katapat lang pala ng hostel ang recreation center. Akalain mo un.

Akalain mo rin un, may billiard table din dun. Akalain mo un.

Ang isang oras, 100php daw. Pwede na rin, sabi ko sa sarili ko. Kaya aun. Naglaro kame. Or rather, dahil sa hindi pa ako ganun ka kagaling, nagpaturo pa ako sa kanila. Tangina astig. Gusto ko tuloy magkaroon ng ganun sa bahay.

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Sina Greg nakatambay sa may parang couch tsaka sa may bandang entrance. Kami naman, tumambay sa loob mismo ng bus. Eh ung bus pa naman diba parang jeep lang na may roller coaster seats sa loob? Dun. Dun na ako nakaidlip hanggang 10:30. Pinapasok na kasi kame nung lecheng guard. Tsktsk.

So aun. Buti na lang may nakita pa kaming bakanteng mga higaan sa may sulok. Dun kame tumambay hanggang sa mag uumaga na. 12am? 1am?

Siguro nakatulog ako. Kasi ang alam ko lang, nasa gitna ako ng kwento. The next, tahimik na ang lahat, nakatulog ata ako. Shet. Nakatulog ako habang nagkwekwento.

Tumayo ako at lumabas. Mga 3 am ata un o 4.

Ang mga hindi nakakuha ng higaan nakaupo sa may couch, nakabalot ng kumot. Grabe. Ang ginaw kasi sa labas. Ung hanging talagang in your face ung trip. Kulang na lang tangayin ang buong kaluluwa't balat ko.

Sina Erick tsaka sina Paul nkatulog sa labas, sa mga upuan. Para silang mga cocoon sa balot ng kumot nila. Kumuha pa ako ng isang upuan, umupo at nangarap ng gising.

Corregidor pt 1: Wala nga Akong Medyas na Suot, Yehey

Mood: Elated
Currently listening to: The first cut is the deepest, sheryl crowe.

If there's one thing i hate about traveling trips, it's the effing boarding wait. If there's another, it's the trash floating around the dock.

So parang ang galing, kasi lahat ng nabanggit ko ay nakita ko kahapon, sa pagsakay ng ferry papuntang Corregidor.

The ferry itself was cool. Merong upper and lower deck. Meron ding instructional video - sinasabi kung saan matatagpuan ang mga life jackets, ang mga exits, etc. Gusto ko sana i applaud ang video, kaso biglang nagbago. Naging documentary vid. I took it as a sign that God wanted me to sleep.

Mga pagkagising ko, nakita ko si Camille busy busyng kakabasa ng pugad baboy.
Sina Nichola tsaka sina Donnadeath(rofl, peace :D) na nanunuod ng DVD.So parang na astigan naman ako. Imagine, DVD sa gitna ng dagat. Sakto pa ung DVD, korean! Oks lang kahit ndi ko na marinig ung audio. Solb solb na sa subtitles.

Sa kamalasan, nagskiskip ang DVD at wala na kameng naintindihan. So much for subtitles.

Ay onga pala. Namigay ng food ang Sun Cruises. Tinapay na may ham at cheese sa loob tsaka Zesto. Mejo naasar ako sa Zesto. Tangna, simula grade school Zesto na lang lagi ang binibigay pag may libreng food. Wala bang root beer jan?

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Pagtapak ko pa lamang sa Corregidor, nagkaroon ako ng moment. Y'know. To feel nature. To wallow in the essence of life. Nag hit sa akin na napaka insignificant ng buhay naten, yadiyadiyak. Existentialism gone wrong.

Kaso talagang moment lang eh. Kasi biglang nag cam whore ung super duo, sina jhanna't fessa. Parang gremlin na nabasa ng tubig. So ako naman, natuwa kasi may cam din ako nun. Parang naisip ko, "kawawa naman cam ko, konti pa lang ang lamang tao. puro na lang dagat tsaka bangka". So siyempre ride on. YEH. Nawala ang moment.

We had our paid buffet lunch at a cafe near the dock. May vegetable, kanin, fried chicken tsaka carbonara. Ang tubig, ndi ko alam kung safe bang inumin o hindi.

Ndi ko nalasahan ang binayad ko nun. Sabi ko pa naman sa sarili ko na susulitin ko ang lecheng 1,604 php ko sa buffet. Ndi ko man lang nagawang mag 2nd round. Nalasahan ko lang ang pait ng gulay at tigas ng manok. Sana binalik nyo na lang ung binayad ko dun at pinambli ko pa ng lobo.

Ung pinagkainan naming cafe, malapit lang sa dagat. So siyempre sugod mode kami sa beach. Dahil sa kasama ko ang twilight fans, parang scene daw ng twilight ang corregidor. May beach. Secluded. Medyo maulap. Kaya aun.

La Push daw ung beach.

May dala rin nga pala si Marga na cupcake nun. PUTANGINA, ang sarap.

At unga pala. It was at this point na bumigay na ang battery ng cam ko. Argh, wala pa nga ung mismong tour naubos na kagad ang battery ko. Ang galing ko talaga.

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After lunch, we boarded a bus. The bus was... err. Bus. Wala kasing pintuan. Parang jeep na nilagyan ng roller coaster seats. Mabuti na lang soobrang breezy sa Corregidor.

So aun. Paikot ikot, pa ikot ikot, ikot ikot kame sa Corregidor. May mga oras na feeling ko ndi na lang kame ang tao dun. So, of course, i felt the need to shut myself up - to feel the breath of nature on my neck.

Kaso wala din eh. Nanaig ang pagging bata ko, haha. Like a child with a new toy, we explored a little bit of the tunnels, some of them circling around, some just stopping aburptly, and some of them too dark to do anything but scream.

May guns nga rin pala sa Corregidor. DUH. Higanteng higante. Nakakatuwang isipin na naglalakad ka sa isang battlefield. Isipin mo oh. Dun tumitilapon ung mga bangkay ng mga Pilipino tsaka Japanese. Then again, pucha, maglakad ka lang sa Maynila para ka na ring naglakad sa battlefield.

Mga bandang 5pm na nung nakabalik kami sa dock. Shet, ang lakas na ng hangin. Nangamba na ung iba. May balita raw kasi na baka stranded na kami sa Corregidor.

Napangiti ako nun.

Your Flying Teapot

Mood: "HUH, WAT"
Currently listening to: green bird, yoko kanno.

My block is going to corregidor in a few minutes time mehn. Can't say i'm excited. Can't say i'm not. When it comes down to it, i think it's a great idea to visit places like that, except that i can't shake off the feeling that society is just exhorting us for money. lol, exhortation.

Things are... peaceful. Yeah. That's the right term for that. But i've said the word peaceful so many times to describe the way things are, it kind of hurts just to say it out loud. I feel like i've been sitting in muddy water, playing like a kid. Then again, i wouldn't mind playing in it, if it ends after the first time.

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I wanna change my plurk timeline to this

But the sad thing is, i can't find the right dimensions. ARGH.Gotta find a way around it somehow.

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My room is messy again. Just the way i like it. YEH.

The Thin Line Between Rage and Age

Mood: RAGE.
Currently listening to: Rush, the seatbelts

Effing friends for benefit. Why are people such enormous fagheads? People are not made of wood, damn it. Flesh and freaking blood. We can get hurt just like any organic thing.

People are such fagheads.

Smiling Moon

Mood: coolness beybeh!
Currently listening to: shut up and explode, boom boom satellite

Haha! Good thing sis managed to take a picture. YEH. :D

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And so I wonder. What if the world ends tomorrow? If it does, i guess i wouldn't mind. Tomorrow marks the physical examination date, and i so hate doctors.

The Moon is SMILING.

Mood: like whoa!
Currently listening to: none

OMFG, look to the stars tonight mehn. The moon and stars are striking a pose. :D Will be posting the pics later.

Vivid Grays and the Moulin Rouge

Mood: Melancholic
Currently listening to: Butterfly, The Seatbelts

There's this thing called laziness. And there's this thing called inspiration. I'm betting that only a fine line separates the two of them. Just a hairline border.

Nah. I'm just finding an excuse to define this sudden laziness that's been gripping me nowadays. I feel like i see everything in gray.

I've been reading Gaarder again. Sigh.

If only time had a definite meaning in the dictionary.

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I've been taken a liking to sleeping a lot lately. It feels like i've spent most of my days sleeping in. I've dozed off numerous times in class too.

And oh. You know how bones sort of creak when you stretch them? I've been doing that a lot lately, too.

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I think i'm gonna rewatch Moulin Rouge again. I'm in the mood for something romantic this evening. And nothing says romantic like Bohemian ideals and Absinthe.

Quote! This scene sent shivers down teh spine.

Christian: [to the Duke] This woman is yours now. I've paid my whore.
[to Satine]
Christian: I owe you nothing. And you are nothing to me. Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love.

And this! Take note Zidler's last line. xP

Zidler: Send Christian away.
Satine: He will fight for me.
Zidler: Unless he believes that you don't love him.
Satine: What?
Zidler: You're a great actress, Satine. Make him believe that you don't love him.
Satine: No!
Zidler: Hurt him, Satine. Hurt him to save him. There is no other way. The show mustgo on. We are creatures of the underworld. We can't afford to love.

And of course, this.

Bohemians: [singing towards the duke] No matter what you say the show is ending our way. You've gotta stand your ground for freedom, beauty, truth, and love.

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I'm grabbing a box of tissues. Bye.