Starpost

Mood: shaken to the very core.
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There's this book ive been wanting to read since day one, and it was only so recently that my sister reminded me of ACTUALLY reading it; she already has a damn copy of Jerry Spinelli's Stargirl, fresh from Fully Booked.

Being the haughty, avaricious and greedy (yes, i know it's somehow redundant, but that's who - excuse me - what she really is) sister she is, i downloaded a copy of Stargirl and it floored me. FLOOORED me, damn it. Me, the one who got through the Twilight series and never looked back. Me, the stubborn wannabe stoic. Me, the one who kicked a damn door and left a damn dent i had to fix afterwards. It floooored me, ladies and gents. It cut open my damn reservoir of emotions and flung it open.

Anyway, the story goes like this. There's this guy who falls in love with the transfer student who goes by the name Stargirl. Stargirl is no ordinary person as she does everything that deviates from normal - she gives people get-well cards, happy birthday songs and little gifts, even to total strangers. She's just like that. She's quick to notice when other people are feeling bad, but she has no regards to her well-being whatsoever; she's like an entity that only allows kindness to flow out. At first, people thought of it as cute and charming, but when they get tired of her deviations, they shun her and keep her out. No one talks to her, no one notices her, no one even acknowledges her presence. Y'know, the classics.

So anyway, Stargirl has this "happy wagon", where she places a pebble inside if she's feeling happy, and where she takes out a pebble if she's not. Now normally, there's only an average of about 9-10 pebbles inside, with 20 pebbles all in all. And then one night after inviting the guy over, she shows him her room, her family and then they spend the rest of the evening out in the sidewalk, talking.

"Sounds like you're saying i'm obsessed with other people. Is that it?"

Maybe it was the angle, but her fawn's eyes, looking up at me, seemed larger than ever. I had to make an effort to keep my balance lest i fall into them. "You're different," i said "that's for sure"

She batted her eyelids and gave me a flirty grin. "Don't you like different?"

"Sure i do," I said, maybe a little too quickly.

A look of sudden discovery brightened her face. She reached out with her foot and tapped my sneaker. "I know what you're problem is."

"Really?" I said. "What?"

"You're jealous. You're upset because im paying all this attention to other people and not enough to you."

"Right," I sniffed. "I'm jealous of Peter Sinkowitz."

She stood. "You just want me all by yourself, don't you?" She stepped into my space. The tips of our noses were touching. "Don't you, Mr. Leo?" Her arms were around my neck.

We were on the sidewalk in front of her house, in full view. "What are you doing?" I said.

"Im giving you some attention," she cooed. "Don't you want some attention?"

I was losing my battle for balance.

"I don't know," I heard myself say.

"You're really dumb," she whispered in my ear.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Why do you think there's eighteen pebbles in my wagon?" And then the last remaining space between our noses was gone, and i was falling headlong into her eyes, right there on Palo Verde after dinner.

I dunno if it gets to you the way it got to me, but hot damn. Something came undone inside me after i read those lines. It was like someone got this huge ass scissors and cut open my damn heartstrings and rearranged them together again. And arggh, it also got me wishing for a stargirl of my own. She'll be radiant and... and.. and..

Fuck ye, Jerry Spinelli.

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I don't want to be a spoiler (they don't get together in the end, fuckfuckfuck FUCK!) so maybe you should drop whatever you're doing right now and run to the nearest Powerbooks, Fully Booked or whatever bookshop you frequent and demand a copy of Stargirl. If they don't have it in that branch, call the manager and demand that they ship it over ASAP. Then run to the next bookstore or branch and repeat.

Or, http://www.4shared.com/file/78005158/2d602379/Stargirl.html.

There's this sequel too, entitle Love, Stargirl, and also a movie coming out this 2009. I swear to God i will watch it on the bigscreen, and then run screaming to quiapo or an astrovision and buy a dvd copy of it.

Now if you'll excuse me, i need to get my heart out of the blender.