Mood: shitty. but then again, what's fucking new?
Now Playing: don't say goodbye, say goodnight
... with the almost tangible scent of anxiety.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So tomorrow's the start of the second semester, and i'm nervous as hell. i have no freaking idea why; i've gone through about a hundred first days, but it always gets to me, y'know. like some freaking santa claus, nervousness is sure to drop down the chimney that is my head and deliver a hot steaming dump on my brain. no shit.
the thing about starting a new is that you can't really control.. well, everything. anything can go wrong - it could rain at the most inopportune time, your fly could get stuck on something awful, or you could accidentally trod on your professors' bad side. a lot of things can go wrong. such is life; unfair and bitchy.
and when shit happenes, you could only clasp your hands together and pray for a goddamn miracle.
or if that's too out of the ordinary for you, you could try going for the low tech version of a miracle and ask for that instead - a pack of glorious friends to help you through the day.
ps. sorry for the sentimental overtones. i've just gone from an afternoon stroll and a marathon of scrubs, so here i am, trying to nail down my JD type monologue.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
one of the few things you could count on if you have an eye disease is that you could totally count on people to play up the sympathetic card when conversing with your truly. maybe that's how i escaped a ton of bullying or what not during my previous, gullible and innocent years; i was just too out there to be poked at.
don't get me wrong, it sucks and all that to have this motheraaslkdjas eye, espescially when people do this thing when they whirl around and see if they're actually the one im fucking talking to. i mean, what the hell man? can anyone be so tactless as to actually do taht shit? but of course, i don't let it get through to me. why? cause im manly like that.
so anyway, the sympathy card. it's when people play up nice and warm and cuddly with you, or treat you nice and sweet cause you're like this fragile piece of glass that could break of at any moment. sorry to burst your bubbles, folks, but it turns out that im actually aware of how your stinking mind really works. please, i could just eat off your face with all taht sugar-coated syrupy - not to mention the most important part - fake sympathies. call me paranoid, but you can't actually fault me for saying this. im as perfectly capable of fending for myself, thank you very much, and frankly, it just sucks to know that im being pitied upon.
maybe i'm just getting paranoid, a little world-weary, a little jaded and frayed around the edges. but as long as idiots like that lkasjdlkajd live, i sure as hell won't let my guard down. better be a weird paranoid piece of scum than be a doormat.
it just sucks to be the downside of everything, y'know?
-transferred post from a brother blog, sometime ago.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
last night, as we exited from another tambay episode at nichola's, the southbound people found a pretty fucking shit with shit filling waiting on the banks of the post office. now any self-respecting southbound guy would instantly recognize what the post office is for - it is where the line for an FX to carry us home is.
and lo and behold! the line stretched out to infinity and even more. i checked my fucking watch: a little before 7 pm. LRT was clogged as shit, and the malls nearby were a fucking black hole: it kept sucking in every single person in the vicinity. people kept flocking to the malls, no doubt with the plan to waste a few hours in an unholy building of mankind until the trafiic became manageable again. thus, the mall swelled to an almost comical size, it was funny as shit.
"what the fucking hell is fucking happening?!" raged my inner angel. the line was so fucking long, longcat could've gone and made a mrs. longcat out of it. sensning futility, i dragged my ass to the mall and went people-watching.
i made it home at around the same time the crows started jamming. okay, i kid. around 10-ish or something. what the hell happened in between i don't know and i don't fucking remember.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
there's still hope. a fool's hope, but i cling to it, like a wolf to his sheep.
No comments:
Post a Comment