I Think I Missed Out on Something Wonderful

Mood: trying to prod awake my literary muse
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I went to school this morning for a meeting with infopsych members. Got a little excited at the theme we're using for the literary page - paranoia. Ohyeahbaby. Lalang. Parang ang cool kasi. Ne~?

So anyway, it's a good thing a lot of freshmen were tricked inspired to join the infopsych. They look like cute little sheep and I dunno bout you guys, but i always a get a good feeling whenever i see gullible little sheep trotting happily to a cliff called stress. Call it initiation. Call it srtess. You're not a college student if you don't pull consecutive all-nighters for non-academics. I promise.

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For the past hour, i've been thumbing through all of my blogposts and was like going "shittt, ang manly ng post na to!" or "so iba na pala sila today" or "my life sucked even back then" or a nice simple chorus of FUCKKK.

It's funny to think how personal this blog has become. I mean, look at it. 193 posts of angst, whining, and the occasional flashes of light. I dunno. It just amazes me to think that something so intangible has practically become an extended part of my being.

I remember this post that talked about how strangely peaceful the minutes before zoolab were before somebody popped the question "nag ka BF GF ka na ba? yes or no lang dapat sagot! and then comes in Bren, saying "single by choice". Lalang. That line struck me at first as lolwtfpronbbqweird, but i guess in the end, being single or being attached is first of all, is indeed a goddamn choice. Then comes a great big surrender to the other; a surrender that will depend if she will catch you when you fall.

There were also some stuff i hope none of my parents will ever get to read. (ASIDE: I know this girl who started a very very personal blog. Six months in, as she was getting a glass of water one night, she discovered her MOM reading her BLOG. OMFG, i honestly do not what i would do if that shit happened to me) WHY? Well, just because. There are some things not worth risking parental love for. like allowance, for instance

And then, of course, there are the posts with such drama i wished i could film my own sad damn life. But then of course, i would have to pick all of the actors, and omfgaah, i would be just wasting my time finding people even REMOTELY strange as their real-life counterparts.

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The above section was written yesterday, just a few hours ago. Writing non-stop, i closed my eyes for a bit and tsaraan. Here i am again, continuing this post.

Maybe it has something to do with the flow of thought, or the sudden realizations that creep in whenever we think of something that lead people to have - i dunno what's the politically-correct term - mood swings. I mean, look at me. Im practically a mess. I was fine a few hours ago. And now i feel like climbing up to my bed and just sleeping my life away.

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Thumbing through the posts again made me realize some shit today, though. One, i could have gotten everything i would have ever wanted. Two, i'm so blind i couldn't see somebody lying. Three, i should have met up with someone.

How stupid can i get.

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Time waits for no one.

Damn it.